Getting Your Ex Back and the No Contact Rule

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What is "no contact" and why it is so important if you are trying to get your ex back? The first thing I would like to stress is that "no contact" is not a tool to get your ex back. After a failed relationship, you must keep many things in focus. The first thing you should be focusing on is yourself. Initiating no contact can be very difficult and can feel as if your heart is being ripped out of your chest however; no contact allows you to heal while not having to deal with constant reminders as well as unrealistic expectations. If you want your ex back after being dumped, then leave the ball in their court allow the freedom to contact you again if they choose to do so.

If your ex breaks the no contact rule

If your ex breaks the no contact rule while not expressing desire for reconciliation, resume the "no contract" rule while not looking back. If your ex states that they miss you or that they are confused while wanting to be with you, resume no contact once again. Do not become someone who merely pacifies your ex. If your ex is serious about reconciling, then speak with them but if they are only being selfish in not allowing you to go on with your life, this is when no contact should be initiated.

Do not become an emotional punching bag

Remain focused on doing what is best for you. If your ex is offering false hope without a solid promise, no contact will work for you. If you have already expressed your reasoning for no contact with your ex and they are persistent in contacting you anyways, ensure that you inform your ex that both of you have already discussed the no contact rule while quickly ending the conversation even if it takes disconnecting a phone call initiated by your ex.

Telephone calls and emails

Block your ex's calls as well as emails if this is a form of communication they are initiating with you. Take any step possible to cut them out of your life while remaining focused on what is best for you.

Remain strong and remember you are in charge

You have the power to stop harassment from your ex who dumped you. You do not want an emotionally unhealthy cycle to form between you and your ex. Remain strong while cutting all ties with your ex. Unfortunately, you may even have to be rude at times but try to avoid it if you can as it will not help you in getting your ex back.

Focus on friends, family, and most importantly yourself

You have numerous options in maintaining your own emotional health after the breakup. Focus on your friends while taking up a new hobby. You might even want to go on a vacation for rest and relaxation or simply to have a good time. Whatever you do ensure that you are not home alone facing the memories of your failed relationship.

Do not break the no contact rule even for special events

There is absolutely no reason why you should break the no contact rule merely because you view your ex at a special event. Keep your distance and be polite. Do not allow your ex to see you as being uncomfortable and remember to not approach your ex.

If you adhere to this advice, you will be well on your way to the healing, which you need to go on with your life while avoiding the obvious pitfalls, which might set you back with your personal goals, which you have set for yourself. Only when you heal yourself you will be ready to try to get your ex back in your life again.

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Ilona Benes has 1 articles online

Why is getting your ex back so important to you? Because a good relationship is one of the most treasured of human interactions. We all want to be loved. There are the great times together, the shared dreams and visions, the mutual likes and dislikes and more. Great relationships are essential for enjoying a good quality of life. They color everything else around us.

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Getting Your Ex Back and the No Contact Rule

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This article was published on 2010/04/01
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