Getting Your Ex Back - 'Contact' Or 'No Contact' That is the Question

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Though this may sound like a self-defeating exercise, most people agree that the No Contact formula actually helps in getting your ex back faster than any other way. The reason why it sounds contradictory is on the one hand you want to be with your ex as soon as possible, on the other you are doing the disappearance act and almost running away from the person you want to be with!

However, getting your ex back is not about doing the vanishing trick or follow the 'No Contact' formula blindly. You got to read between the lines and devise your own strategies in getting your ex back. There are exceptions to the rule, which can make or break the situation. This is because any excess in keeping Contact or No Contact can ruin your chances of getting your ex back. How do you strike a fine balance while getting your ex back, between two strategies: 'Contact vs. No Contact'? Here are some guidelines to help you with your plan of action:

o Ultimately you are the best judge of the situation. You might read and hear experts commenting repeatedly that the No Contact rule is universally applicable - but it may not be so in your case. Establishing communication at the earliest, could be the only way getting your ex back, before things turn for the worse. This is entirely your call.

o The duration of your relationship makes a lot of difference on the strategy you should take after the break up. If both of you have shared a relationship long enough for both the families to get involved, you simply cannot just remain invisible for too long when your ex leaves. People do come to know about family news and events, be it good or bad. Your ex would feel horrible if there is a death in his or her family and you did not even bother to call or show up. Similarly, good news also needs to be shared amongst people who know each other intimately. Therefore the No Contact formula has to be deployed cautiously while getting your ex back so that it still remains a win-win situation when you do get back each other.

o Like every strategy is bound by time and other limitations, your No Contact strategy is also bound by time and need factors. For how long do you stick to your 'No Contact' strategy is the moot point here. It would be disastrous if you remain deaf and blind to repeated attempts from your ex to contact you. There is nothing more frustrating for your ex when he or she fails to trigger any reaction from you. If you are trying getting your ex back, you need to play this No Contact card carefully. The time gap during which you remain untraceable, would entirely depend on the strength of you love for each other. If the feeling of attraction is mutual and you are confident that your ex is pining for you as much as you are, you have to return his or her calls and other attempts to contact you. However, when you do establish contact, you do not have to go overboard with your emotions. Be friendly, cordial, loving and forgiving when you meet up your ex after this long gap. While you are nearly half way through getting your ex back, be careful not to rake up the past, or start to analyze what went wrong etc. Let the events take its own course, while you remain approachable and ready to get into the relationship once again.

As you can see from the above, picking up the No Contact strategy and following it blindly may result in failure in getting your ex back. Follow your instincts, go by the history of the relationship, assess the intrinsic nature of your ex, and then play your cards accordingly.

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Emma Audley has 1 articles online

DON'T GIVE UP ON THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE YET... THERE IS STILL HOPE! Yes, you can still reverse the breakup and successfully reunite with your ex lover or spouse. Visit my site at LonelinessToHappiness.com to learn how you can bring passion back into your relationship or marriage and make it better than it was before.

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Getting Your Ex Back - 'Contact' Or 'No Contact' That is the Question

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This article was published on 2010/12/27
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