This is one of the most important and powerful components of communication and body language. But it's all about balance. Too much or not enough and you could play yourself right out of the game.
A lack of positive visual contact can be associated with a number of things:
- Disinterest in the person or conversation
- Thoughts wandering
- Not listening or paying attention
- Lack of confidence
- Dishonesty and deceitfulness
None of the above possibilities are what you want to be conveying to a potential partner. They are all negative and have no real value in the dating game other than to thwart the efforts of someone you have no interest in.
Overly staring into another person's eyes can also tell a person a few disconcerting things:
- Intense personality
- Overly fixated
- Possible psychotic tendencies
Visual contact that is overdone in the negative sense will only serve to make your potential partner feel very uneasy and uncomfortable in your presence.
Positive eye contact starts off very casual in the early stages of communication between a guy and a girl. As each partner is speaking, that visual connection is maintained intermittently. Glancing briefly away then making contact again on a regular basis lets the other person know that you are interested and paying attention, without them feeling like they are being locked with an intense stare. As things progress and the two of you are getting along famously, then more extended periods of eye contact are not only acceptable, but can make a person feel extra special and even be a turn on.